Holy Cow! It’s still sinking in and I just can’t believe it!
After receiving a negative result on Thursday and the beginning of what I thought were pre-period abdominal cramps, I just knew my period was coming. I decided to call my doctor on Friday to plan for the next IUI since knowing my luck, my period would happen at the worst time and the doctor’s office is closed on the weekend so I wouldn’t be able to get my baseline ultrasound by day 3. When I spoke with him I was told that I needed to take a test to see how many eggs I had (when taken two years ago, I had more than average) so he could put me on the IVF wait list which is currently 8-9 months long. He said I could continue to receive IUIs while I wait and the next cycle I would be using daily injectables instead of Clomid since prolonged use of clomid can cause issues with my uterine lining. He told me to start taking birth control on day 2 of my cycle and to schedule an ultrasound for the following week. He also had me take a beta hcg test just in case.
Fast forward to Saturday…April Fool’s Day…I woke up at 3 am and took a pregnancy test. I truly expected it to be negative but my luteal phase is always exactly 14 days so it was weird that my period hadn’t started. I did not allow myself to peek at the test until a full five minutes had passed and I saw the faint line below. I test multiple times each month and they are always negative so at first I thought I was just tired so I rubbed my eyes and looked again and sure enough, it was still positive! I immediately went to the bedroom and woke my husband to tell him the news. He sat up as I turned on the bright bedroom light and squinted to look at the test I shoved in front of his face. He was quick to point out that it was really faint but I told him that I was pretty sure any line is positive no matter how light it is and because it was so early the hcg levels probably weren’t high enough to provide a darker line. He said, “we will see” and promptly went back to sleep. Men! There was no way I was going back to sleep after that, plus I had been struggling with insomnia for the prior week but I just laid in bed trying to fall asleep anyway. I couldn’t turn my brain off. While I tried to keep myself from getting excited since my last pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, I was not having much luck. I drank a ton of water before I went to bed so when I took the test at 3 am, my urine was extremely diluted. At 4 am I got up and decided to take another test, hoping it would come in darker and the first wasn’t a fluke. Sure enough, still positive and the line was just a tad darker. Then I did what any normal person would do and woke my husband again. He looked at me and spoke a few words then went back to sleep again! Who can sleep at a time like that?
At about 7 am, I began calling the hospital lab to try to get my test results from my hcg test to confirm that I was pregnant, but I was told I had to get them from my health care provider. After a quick call to the office and getting their voicemail, I knew I would just have to wait until Monday. I was pleasantly surprised when I received a call from my doctor at about 11 am as my husband and I had just arrived at the mall to pick up my ring from the jewelers that I had sent off to be reduced 3/4 of a size the week before (It’s a nice little side effect from losing 30 pounds, but ironic that it may not fit for long). He confirmed that I was in fact pregnant and he wanted me to have another beta hcg test on Monday morning to confirm that my hcg was rising appropriately.
After a weekend filled with excitement and worry, I was waiting at the lab first thing Monday morning when they opened at 7 am. At about 10 am I received the call that I had been waiting for. I was so nervous since my hcg was monitored so closely with my first pregnancy in which everything was wrong from the very beginning. He assured my that my hcg was rising as it should be and currently it was at 413. He had me call and schedule my first ultrasound for April 18th, which will put me at 6 weeks + 5 days along. After my first pregnancy and research I know that I can expect to only see a fetal pole and will not likely hear the heartbeat that early. Seeing a fetal pole and not an empty gestational sac will be enough to relieve some of my concern. I still have slight abdominal cramping occasionally, but have read that it is common to experience this through week 7. I’ve read that the pregnancy following a miscarriage has a 70-90% chance of being carried to full term and resulting in a live birth. It helps that the odds are in my favor! I know the next 8 months will be full of fear and concern but I’m trying to remain cautiously optimistic and allowing myself to have a little excitement. With each new milestone, I can tell that my husband is allowing himself to get a little excited himself. Even though I didn’t think I could love him any more, hearing him talk about our child makes my heart feel like it will explode. The best part of (hopefully) becoming a mother is having an amazing partner to share it with (even if he doesn’t like his sleep interrupted)!