Continued

As promised, I will talk about our hope to adopt through San Diego County. My husband and I have always wanted to adopt whether we are able to conceive a biological child or not. We’ve been very passionate about doing so through the county. There are many steps that we had to take in order to be considered as adoptive parents. San Diego county requires you to become a licensed foster home before moving to the adoption step. We have completed all of our requirements, including California background check, a 27 hour class on how to raise children who have gone through traumatic experiences, CPR/First Aid certification and home inspections. We are currently waiting for our Colorado background check to come back to receive our Foster license. After that we go on the wait list for the extensive interview process to enter our waiting period for an adoption placement.

For the longest time, we were pretty set on adoption only. The longer it takes me to become a parent, the more I fear I will never have that chance. My husband and I discussed it and we want to try fostering. We just want to foster one child and see what it is like. Worst case we don’t like it and will never try it again, but at least we will know what it is like to be a parent, even for a short while. After all, we have a crib and a whole room set up for a baby (courtesy of obtaining a foster license), so why not use it?

Well, that is it…my short and brief explanation of where we are in the foster/adoption process…

As for the fertility journey, the infertility clinic wanted me to come in for a baseline ultrasound on Tuesday, which is supposed to be in the first three days of your cycle…..but, my cycle (as usual) had other plans and my period came early. I called the clinic to see what they wanted to do about it and they prescribed me birth control pills! At first, I thought it seemed extremely counter-productive to take birth control pills when trying to conceive. After a little research and a visit to Dr. Google, I found that it is actually a common practice. In fact, I actually got excited! For the first time in two and a half years, I don’t have to worry about trying to get pregnant! I would feel guilty for even thinking about taking a break, but when it’s doctor’s orders…that’s a whole new ball game. A  whole entire month of not peeing on those pesky OPK sticks! A whole month of not worrying about my heart rate rising above 140 in case I am pregnant! A whole month of not worrying about when to perfectly time sex to get pregnant! Heck, I don’t even have to have sex the entire month if I don’t want to! What will I do with myself?!?! Well, more than likely, I should use this time to exercise harder and work harder to drop some weight…

Speaking of weight loss, as most people know, the majority (not all) of women who have PCOS struggle with weight loss and I am no different. Since gaining 100 pounds when I was 22, I have tried everything to get it off. Atkins, calorie restriction, extreme exercising, you name it…I hit my highest weight 3 years ago and was disgusted with myself. Over the years, I tried using My Fitness Pal to track calories as well as trying to cut back on gluten, since I’ve read about the negative effects of gluten on PCOS. In fact, I follow an amazing page on Facebook, that I highly recommend to anyone that suffers from PCOS: Click here to check out PCOS Diet Support! Of course I have done my research but there are so many foreign terms describing the symptoms of PCOS that I ended up totally confused. Taryn does an amazing job of spelling it out easily and telling us how to change our diet to take control. Now, do I follow all of her advice? Nope. But I do try to avoid gluten as much as possible to prevent my insulin spike. I also try to incorporate more protein and fiber into all my meals to avoid that irritating Hypoglycemia!  Anyway, I have been gaining and losing the same 20-30 pounds over the last three years. Now, I have had approximately 100 pounds to lose, so this yo-yo dieting was getting me absolutely no where! On top of that, I always felt so guilty when I went over my calorie allowance or gained weight back. After Christmas, I knew I needed to try something new, something that would allow me to change my habits for life, not just until I lost the weight. This will make me sound incredibly gullible, but I was watching a weight watchers commercial with Oprah at Christmas time and I felt inspired. After all, who hasn’t watched her publicly struggle with her weight for years? That’s the push I needed! After Christmas, I signed up for Weight Watchers with meetings. I felt like the meetings would be the key for holding myself accountable and staying on track. I was right! I love it! If I eat correctly, I never feel deprived! Best of all, I’m re-programming myself to feel better about who I am and not be disgusted if I go over points for one day. My largest challenge is resetting my expectations for slow weight loss. Whenever I start a new diet (and only stay on it a month or two), I see rapid weight loss. In fact, when I did Atkins just before my wedding, I lost 60 pounds in 3 months! However, that is not a way of life that is sustainable for me, so I promptly gained it all back and then some… Since December 28th, I have lost just over 17 pounds. While, that leaves me with 92 pounds left to lose, I just have to keep reminding myself that any loss is a win and the best part is that the idea of doing this the rest of my life doesn’t scare me at all! I’ve got this and I  can do it! If I fall off the horse, I just need to remind myself that I can jump back on!

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